[D]I dreamt a dream the other night I [G]couldn't sleep a wink
The [A]rats were tryin' to count the sheep and I was
off the drink
There were [D]footsteps in the parlour and [G]voices on the stairs
I [A]was climbin' up the walls and
movin' round the chairs.
I [D]looked out from under the blanket [G]up at the fireplace.
The [A]Pope and John F. Kennedy
were starin' in me face
Suddenly it [D]dawned at me I was getting the old D.[G]T.s
When the [A]Child o' Prague began
to dance around the mantle[D]piece.
CHORUS
[D]Goodbye to the Port and Brandy, to the [G]Vodka and the Stag,
To the [A]Schmiddick and the Harpic, the
[D]bottled draught and keg.
As I sat lookin' up the Guinness ad I could [G]never figure out
How your [A]man stayed up
on the surfboard after [D]14 pints of stout.
[D]Well I swore upon the bible I'd [G]never touch a drop.
My [A]heart was palpitatin' I was sure 'twas going to [D]stop,
Thinkin'
I was dyin' I gave my soul to [G]God to keep.
A [A]tenner to St. Anthony to help me get some [D]sleep.
I fell into an
awful nightmare - [G]got a dreadful shock.
When I [A]dreamt there was no Duty-free at the [D]airport down in Knock.
George
Seawright was sayin' the rosary and [G]SPUC were on the pill.
Frank [A]Patterson was gargled and he singin' [D]Spancil
Hill.
CHORUS
I [D]dreamt that Mr. Haughey had re[G]captured Crossmaglen
Then [A]Garret got re-elected and gave it back a[D]gain.
Dick
[D]Spring and Roger Casement were on board the [G]Marita-Ann
As [A]she sailed into Fenit they were singin' [D]Banna Strand.
[D]I
dreamt Archbishop McNamara was on Spike [G]Island for 3 nights
Havin' been [A]arrested for supportin' Traveller's [D]rights.
I
[D]dreamt that Ruairi Quinn was smokin' mari[G]juana in the Dail
Barry [A]Desmond handin' Frenchies out to scuts in Fianna
[D]Fail.
CHORUS
I [D]dreamt of Nell McCafferty and Mary Kenny [G]too
The [A]things that we got up to, but I'm not tellin' [D]you.
[D]I
dreamt I was in a jacuzzi along with [G]Alice Glenn
'twas [A]then I knew I'd never ever, ever drink a[D]gain
