Directions Lyrics And Chords - Funny Irish Song

If you're (C)not sure (G)where you're (C)going
But you (F)know you've lost your (G)way
I hope you'll stop and listen now
To (G7)what I'm going to (C)say
For I lost my (G)way to (C)Ballymastray
On a (G)day I'll not forget
And I (G7)had to ask directions
From (C)every(G)one I (C)met

Well my (C)trouble (G)really (C)started
At the (F)crossroads I sup(G)pose
When I asked a man coming out of a shop
With (G7)smoke coming out of his (C)nose
He leaned in (G)through my (C)window
Like a (G)man with time to spare
And (G7)through the smoke I heard him say
- Now (C)you're a (G)stranger (C)here

But do you (C)see that (G)road in (C)front of you
That's (F)forking to the (G)right
Whatever you do don't take that road
Or you'll (G7)drive about all (C)night
No, just you (G)keep on (C)going
Til you (G)see a pub called Pat's
Go (G7)straight on round the corner
And ask (C)anyone (G)after (C)that -

Well (C)round the bend I (G)drove my(C)self
And I (F)didn't see a (G)soul
Til I met a man with a bicycle
He was (G7)wheeling a bag of (C)coal
His face was (G)slightly (C)swolen
And his (G)back wheel slightly flat
But I (G7)knew I'd have to ask him
I was (C)lost and (G)that was (C)that

Could you (C)tell me the (G)way to (C)Ballymastray?
Could you (F)give us the price of a (G)beer?
I handed him over a couple of quit
For I (G7)thought the deal was (C)fair
Til his pickled (G)words of (C)wisdom
Were (G)whispered in my ear
- If (G7)I was going to Ballymastray
I (C)wouldn't (G)start from (C)here -

A (C)woman (G)tied to a (C)little dog
(F)Next heard my a(G)ppeal
As she leaned on my window
Her (G7)dog leaned on my (C)wheel
- Oh Ballyma(G)stray's a (C)lovely place
It's (G)even in a song
Do you (G7)know what I'm going to tell you though
You (C)couldn't be (G)further (C)wrong... (What???)

You (C) came a(G)cross the (C)river
And you (F)really hat no (G)call
In fact you shouldn't have crossed that bridge
at (G7)all, at all, at (C)all -
Her dog had (G)reached my (C)fourth weel
As I (G)put the car in gear
Say's (G7)I, I'm getting out of here
Be(C)fore he (G)finds the (C)spare

It was (C)just out(G)side a (C)joke shop
I (F)met a man with a (G)gun
Black polish painted on his face
And he (G7)wore a uni(C)form
I asked for the (G)road to (C)Ballymastray
Says (G)he - I'm mot from here -
He (G7)asked me where I was coming from
Says (C)I- I've (G)no i(C)dea!

Ah (C)never (G)ask a (C)couple
Un(F)less you want a (G)fight
One will send you to the left
And the (G7)other to the (C)right
I left a (G)pair at (C)loggerheads
And (G)then my blood ran cold
For (G7)wheeling round the corner
Came the (C)man with the (G)bag of (C)coal

- Ah (C)now you're (G)really (C)lost my boy,
And you've (F)just yourself to (G)blame
For you drove away the minute
I was (G7)trying to ex(C)plain
But I'll tell you (G)now for (C)nothing

If you (G)take me and my load
I'll (G7)show you the way to Ballymastray
And it (C)won't be (G)off your (C)road -

It was (C)half an (G)hour (C)later
We (F)reached his granny's (G)lane
And there we left his bag of coal
And (G7)headed on a(C)gain
He left me (G)with di(C)rections
An (G)hour after that
At a (G7)petrol pump with a pub attached
And the (C)name of the (G)pub was (C)Pat's

Ah when I (C)reached my (G)desti(C)nation
I (F)was a broken (G)man
But the lesson that I learned that day
I'll (G7)share it if I (C)can
If you're going to (G)Bally(C)shannon
Ballyma(G)stray of Ballylap
If you're (G7)going to bally anywhere
Would you (C)buy a (G)bally (C)map